Finding love is a rare and beautiful thing. Many people spend a good part of their life searching for, “the one”.  The most traditional way to find love is to participate in the cultural rite of passage of dating. Many go on dates and learn more about what individuals have to offer, and to determine if there is the potential for a love connection.

Dating is a ritual that is filled with excitement, joy and often frustration. In today’s society, online dating is all the rage and has provided a large forum for people to search for a partner. Traditional dating involves going to do something with another person or in a group, often out to a meal or to a movie.  There are numerous kinds of dates; bad, good, indifferent, and some are downright miserable. 

There are a few ways to increase your chance at finding love via dating. The best way is to determine from the outset what you want from your date, and what they want from you. Expectations are key in determining the potential of a date. If you find yourself dating individuals who just want to have a good time and are not looking for love, you will be disappointed every time. It is easy to convince yourself that you can change another person and that with the right outfit, music and meal, wa-la, love will appear. Regardless of how you look, act or speak, the end results of a date all boils down to the intentions of both people. The trick is to find individuals who are looking for love, and go on dates with them, not those looking for just a good time. 

How do you spot an individual looking for love? Of course the most ideal thing to do was have the conversation outright about expectations, but this is awkward and unrealistic. Usually there are some key signs that can tip you off to the intentions of a potential suitor. Look at the type of individuals the suitor associates with. If his or her friends are mainly single and ready to mingle, most likely they are not looking for love. If the suitor associates more with couples, he or she is more likely to be dating for love rather than entertainment. Look at where the suitor is in his or her career. If they are just starting out a demanding career, most likely they will not be looking to date to form a lasting partnership. These are just generalizations and there are always exceptions, but looking at characteristics of those who date to find love, many individuals who date to find love are settled in their career and associate and identify with values of couples.

Once you find a person who seemingly is dating to find love, how do you generate the opportunity to create love? Unfortunately love is a magical and unexplainable thing. If the chemistry is not there, it is difficult to fake. But do not be so quick to judge the chemistry between yourself and your date. Many happily married couples report that they did not fall in love with their now spouse on the first date, or even the second date. Love takes time to form, and will be created out of mutual respect and admiration for one another which is impossible to achieve on the first date. Of course if you are so lucky to have love at first sight, go with it. Usually feelings of love at first sight are more about lust than love, but hey what is love without passion?

Finding love through dating can be a fun process, but can be painful as well. It hurts when one discovers that their date does not feel the same way about them and can be awkward when a date fall in love with you, but you do not have the same feelings in return. Just remember to be yourself and if a date does not feel right, cut your losses and move on. There are always other fish in the sea that will appreciate who you truly are.