Divorce is becoming a common occurrence in today’s society, with approximately half of marriages ending in divorce and 70% of second marriages ending in divorce. Unfortunately those who were in a marital relationship with one another who become divorced find various problems while going through a divorce. Individuals going through a divorce often have difficulties with their relationship after the divorce is finalized. Difficulty with custody arrangements, financial agreements and broken relationships with former mutual friends are just a few of the issues that accompany a divorce.

Financial difficulties are very common in divorce and can be as emotionally difficult for children as they are for parents. It is especially difficult if parents share details with their children of the family’s financial troubles. This places a huge unnecessary burden on a child and can affect a child’s schoolwork, socialization and other factors while growing up.

Individuals often have a large financial burden when going through a divorce. Lawyer fees are not solely to blame for the financial strain of divorce. When two people split up, the child now has two homes. Two homes require two of everything: bedding desks, clothes, food, toys, etc. Time that parents share with their children is so much more important than anything they buy them. Regardless of the amount of time spent with the child, each parent should focus on quality time with his or her child. Ask your child how their day was, and really listen. Take an interest in their interests, even if you find them boring or silly. The more of an effort you make to connect with your child during a divorce may not show results immediately, but in the long run will lead to a happier and healthier child.

Regardless of the financial burden a family faces, it is helpful to find low-cost activities such as reading and cooking family meals to do together. It is of utmost importance for parents to ensure that their child understands that they safe, and that money isn’t everything.

One of the most common and jarring changes for a family is moving homes. Individuals and children of divorce are forced to deal with new bedrooms, neighborhoods, schools and friends. It is almost as if after a divorce a person must form a whole new identity and adjust accordingly.

It is important that during a divorce to remain as amicable as possible to your former spouse. Regardless of if you share children together, maintaining a cordial relationship with your ex will allow you to release negative feelings and move on with your life. It may take time, sometimes many years to be able to have any sort of positive association or feelings toward your former spouse. Just remember that harboring anger and resentment towards your ex will hurt you as well as damage your children. Even if you feel you are neutral when discussing your ex, any resentment or lingering hatred for your spouse will show through, especially when interacting with your children.

There has been a new movement of divorce mediators that are trained to work out the details of a divorce without lawyers and ideally without resentment. If you feel you and your ex can be mature enough and communicate with one another, divorce mediation may be a good choice for you.

Adjusting to the major life changes a divorce entails is often an overwhelming process. It is important for those who are overwhelmed by problems stemming from divorce consider outside or professional help. Emotional support can come from family, friends, clergy, and medical and mental health professionals.  Many agencies offer counseling on a sliding scale and provide divorce recovery groups.