Many people search for the ‘secret’ to a long, happy marriage. In today’s society, over 50% marriages are likely to end in divorce. Marriage is a lifelong process, filled with sacrifice, understanding and a lot of love. Couples often search for marriage advice and tips to ensure a long and healthy union. There is not a particular formula that will create a happy marriage, but there are a few tips from experts to help increase the joy and satisfaction within a marriage.

The most important tip in a successful marriage is to like who you are as a person. It is cliché but true that you really cannot love another until you truly love yourself. It is also significant to share your particular interests with your spouse and pursuing interests separate from your spouse. If you begin to see yourself only as part of a couple, it is likely you will lose your identity as a person. Fill your own emotional needs; if you do not rely on another person to fill your needs, you will see your marriage more as a partnership.

It sounds simple, but being nice to your spouse is an often forgotten marriage tip. Many treat their spouse differently than their friends, and can often be harsh and sometimes downright mean to their spouse. It is tempting to take life’s frustrations out on your spouse. A good tip is to “bite your tongue” before saying something could be insulting or negative to your spouse. Of course if there is an issue that needs to be discussed and it will involve some negative comments, communication should not be stopped. Just remember that you should talk to your spouse in the same respectful tone you would a stranger or friend.

Couples within the perfect of marriages will inevitably have disagreements. The tip is to “fight fair” and keep the disagreement on topic without bringing up unrelated issues from the past. Focus on what needs to be resolved and fight so both you and your spouse will be satisfied with the outcome, not just to ‘win’ the argument.

Another tip for a successful marriage is to share positive ideas, experiences and ideals with one another. Share with your spouse a happy thing that happened to you during your workday. Make a list of things that make you both happy and vow to do them more often. Perform random act of kindness not only for a stranger, but also for each other. Buy your spouse his or her favorite flower just because. Compliment and support your spouse. If they have had a bad day listen to them. If they have had a good day rejoice with them. Be their biggest fan. Once you begin to make these small changes, you will begin to see changes in the way your spouse reacts to you and will eventually begin to see improvements within your marriage.

The best piece of marriage advice is to remember is that marriage is not always 50/50. Some days you may have to give 90% and your spouse will give 10%. Other days you may give 25% and your husband will have to put in the 75%.  The tip to a successful marriage is all about give and take, some days you will have to give more than take. If you begin to feel that you are giving more than taking, communicate with your spouse. If you are taking more than giving, take a step back and look at other resources you can use for support. Many disagreements and disillusions within a marriage boil down to miscommunication. Do not be afraid to talk to one another, just do so in a loving and respectful way.