As adolescents, we believed that Romance and Marriage go hand in hand. We enter wedlock with rose-tinted glasses. Surely, most marriages did have a dash of romance, which was envied by all. However, with time, the romantic marriage became a boring marriage.

Romantic Marriage- Certainly a Utopian concept, seems like a fairy tale, but need not be confined only to books! Challenging perhaps, but not impossible.  Before we begin, what’s your idea of romance? Now, if you ask different people to define what romance is, I’m sure you will receive totally different responses and ideas. And, be warned, your concept of romance may be entirely different from your spouse’s concept. Also, your own concept is likely to change with the passage of time!  

One couple dated many years before tying the knot, they were privileged to go on cruises and tours every year, dine in the finest of restaurants, and get the costliest of gifts on anniversaries. A romantic marriage, you’d say. Another couple fell in love gradually, married; started a family. They rarely holidayed at exotic locales, and anniversaries were family affairs.  The husband was kind, yet not very demonstrative. However, they often shared jokes and a laugh together. He did the dishes, while she worked outside the home. He encouraged her when she went through a rough patch in her career. They had eyes only for each other and were happy on their own.  Now which one would you say is a romantic marriage?

Most marriages fall somewhere in between the two notions described above. Sometimes, it is possible to indulge your partner with material gifts, while at other times, partners have to be content with simple gestures. In reality, there is no perfect definition of a romantic marriage. Romance is what ‘you’ believe in and can be defined only by ‘you’. Added to that, is the recent concept of a soul-mate! Unless you go for a past-life regression, how would you know if your partner is your soul-mate?

True, we gel well with some, and we wonder whether they really are our soul-mate. With others it takes time. However, instead of discerning who is our soul-mate, marriages will do well, if we try to rekindle romance in our existing relationship. In fact, let our aim be to find the soul-mate in our current mates. Easier said than done, you may say, but not impossible.

Being tied down to the same partner for years, especially the trying years can be daunting. However, the trick is to add a dose of romance- everyday. While for some, a daily romp in the bed may seem romantic, others are happy with just a monthly romp! But, doesn’t mean that the less you meet beneath the sheets, the less romantic your marriage has become.

Lightly brushing against your partner while you go about your routine, offering to make breakfast, giving a massage to soothe frayed nerves, sending flowers at the work-place, going for a movie once in a while, getting your partner’s favorite music, calling your in-laws, are all romantic gestures too. 

Sometimes it pays to handle your spouse with kid-gloves. Catch them doing something nice and appreciate them immediately. If you find your partner has really cooked a tasty meal, thank and appreciate them. If you’re sparse with words, even a knowing or appreciative look will do wonders.

Also, remember, what you term unromantic can be very romantic for an outsider or vice-versa. So don’t let others’ definition of romance bother you. The trick is to make it rosy for others to see, without that being a dilemma for you. Oftentimes, when we put up an act to impress others, we work hard to maintain the fervor. Employ this strategy and your marriage will very quickly become a romantic marriage!

However, be warned never to imitate others. Instead, try to set an example for others to follow. While your friend may be able to afford an expensive holiday in an exotic locale, dare not to stretch your purse-strings. Vacationing with your partner in a quiet retreat can be pleasurable too. Believe me; chalking an itinerary, planning to visit the places etc can be fun, when done together with your spouse. A home with a personal touch is far better than a custom-made house!  

Yes, dining together and often, cooing sweet nothings, sending flowers, buying expensive gifts, appreciating your spouse, vacationing, going for movies, all do make your marriage romantic. However, your marriage will be at its romantic best, when you draw attention to your spouse’s strengths publicly! Lauding them publicly and proclaiming to others how lucky you are to have found your partner will definitely rekindle true romance.