The pulse of a marriage is determined by the sexual chemistry shared between the couple. Yet, this intimate aspect is filled with trepidation, even as many marriages head for a break-up, when matters aren’t all that well in the bedroom.

Sex is the ultimate and natural expression of two people in love. It’s sacred and beautiful, yet with amateurs, can easily lead to discord. The market contains a plethora of information by way of books and there’s the internet, which claim to educate people of this electrifying phenomenon. Nevertheless, here we help you to understand sex better.

What Sex Shouldn’t Be: Psychological preparation is imperative before you take the plunge. Don’t confuse between lust and love. While lust is purely physical, love is a tender feeling you entertain for another human. When sex is the culmination of love, sex is more satisfying, than when it is out of need. Give your partner and yourself time to relax before you initiate intimacy. This is especially important when you are a man, as women need time to get intimate. Remember, friendship is the basis of any relationship, and should be in case of matrimony too, as camaraderie, results in spontaneous and enjoyable sex.

Common Problems Men Face: Sex, like old wine gets better with time. As newlyweds, in the throes of passion, you might discover that sex isn’t all that it’s made out to be. A man may suffer from performance anxiety and here a woman, could make a wonderful partner if she deals with understanding. Demanding women can make men temporarily impotent! Premature ejaculation too is a common problem. Here, exercising self-control is the only solution, along with the stop-start-technique. Premature ejaculation improves with age and experience. Erectile dysfunction is common among older men or those who suffer from diabetes etc. Regular exercising and medical check-ups can help.

Common Problems Women Face: Women too suffer from performance anxiety of a different kind, wherein they’re anxious of not attaining an orgasm. Some women in order not to hurt their partners, fake it. However, by faking, you’re cheating none, but yourself! It’s a fact that women take time to achieve an orgasm. Instead if you overcome awkwardness and explain to your man what turns you on and how to turn you on, he’ll be grateful. Remember, best sex occurs between two heads and not between the two legs. In sharing such needs, your bond gets fortified.

Foreplay: Don’t be ravenous. At least during your initial attempts, indulge in a lot of foreplay. Women are known to warm up with sufficient foreplay and can achieve orgasms faster. However, with extended foreplay, men may find it hard to wait, but exercising self-control increases sensitivity. Nature has been kind and just to both and women. While men attain orgasms faster, women can attain multiple ‘O’s’, all at one go! But who said you ought to restrict your imagination only to the sexual organs? Fingering her, tantalizing with your tongue etc can be as effective!

Women must remember that, physical proximity too, can be pleasurable. Enjoy the act instead of fretting over the elusive orgasm.

Foreplay That’s A Sure Turn-on!: Treat your partner’s whole body to a treat! Nibbling at the ears, a soft kiss at the sides of the neck or at the nape of the neck, at the navel, the back, and knee, sucking at the toe, are all known to stoke the flame. The base of the spine is known to contain sensitive nerve endings. Lightly rubbing this area is known to create a spark! 

After-play: Although quite unheard of, after-play is when you snuggle close to each other post the sweet aftermath of an intimate time. Men beware not to turn away and doze. Hugging her or even talking, cements your bond. Of course avoid commenting on any bloopers.

Experiment: While you had the energy to experiment with varied positions during your initial encounters, with time, you just want to get through with it. Let Vatsayana’s Kamasutra be at your bedside and you’ll be eager as before. Although pornography is an easy option, some women may develop an aversion to it and most often pornography gives exaggerates.

Sex Can Be Fun: Sex needn’t always be sentimental; it can be fun. Teasing each other, touching in a non-sexual way, poking fun at each other without taunting, tickling, etc are all fun ways to bond!

Menopause: During menopause, women do experience a lull. Lubrication is the solution to dryness. Mood- swings, etc can be handled by exercise, diet and counseling. In extreme cases, HRT too helps. Remember, you’re past your childbearing age and sex at this phase can be stress-free! Being married for a while now, can be exhilarating. 

Wild Passions: Passion spruces up monotonous encounters. Share your fantasies and do act them out. All’s fair in love and war!